FRIDAY'S NOVEL

(One of my favorite quotes... I know I've shared it with you before.)

Hello all,  This post is a long one.  Today (with her permission) I am sharing bits of emails from a lovely gal who emailed me last spring.  We got together to talk about blogging, as she was looking to start her own blog; however, since then she has decided not to - for reasons that I fully understand and respect - and reasons described below.  I know it's a lot to read, and I don't expect you to read it all, but she is such a wonderful writer (so funny and honest)... even her emails were good.  I hope maybe you'll at least read the last email.

>>> <<<

4-25-12

to the author of lovely and rust, molly - 

my morning routine is simple. take the lid off of my traveling coffee to cool, check emails, but before responding to them...i read my most favorite blogs. many at the top of my list are written in new york, australia, spain, some in chicago and russia. but when thinking of beginning my own blog, mainly to share what i view as most inspiring to women in columbus, i was at a loss to find anything that seemed to fit "my style." that is, until i came across your recent post on nat the fat rat. 

i'm not sure if you've ever had the feeling of an empty spot on your creativity shelf, but being in columbus, often surrounded by a lack of unique design and fashion, it's been a struggle to find a way to connect my lifestyle with my online loves. you do it so well. hip-hip-hooray! 

i'm still hoping to start a blog to let all my inspiration flow out of me like a sprinkler.  if you're free, i'd love to treat you to a coffee and blog chat. it would be so nice to know how someone got started. 

cheers,
m.

6-15-12

to molly, the girl who gave me a wonderful compliment and whom i'm looking forward to meeting. 

would you be free next thursday by chance? i'm open to locations as i want to be sure you aren't going out of your way or jumping hurdles to find a parking space. 

open to dates. 
open to times.
open to locations.
closed only to tube tops.

6-21-12

thanks, molly. i'm sure i sound incredibly creepy by my confidence in pointing you out from the photos you've posted on your blog. however...i'm confident that i'll be able to point you out from the photos you've posted on your blog. 

see you there!

6-25-12 (post meeting)

both blindly and quickly, i put my hair in a bun on the top of my head. a 3pm ritual, my eyelids became heavy as excel sheets served as a wall between my day and my evening. and then, as i shifted my glasses to the bridge of my nose, i decided that an email to you could serve as my break. i take a sip of cool water from an old panera coffee mug to get me started. and now, i'll let my fingers dance over the keys while i tell you how much of a pleasure it was to have met you. 

i'm sure most people in my life have grown sick of the stories i told them about the night under a green umbrella in grandview. mostly because it was genuinely refreshing to sit with someone who understood what it is i struggle with creatively, and how important it is for people like you, and perhaps like me, to express it. 

to sit.
to sip.
to discuss likes and wants without needing to explain why or what.
it was all so appreciated. truly.

as for progress, i've set up a new email address and tumblr account to house all of my colors, shapes and letters. i'm running with your advice, and not even stopping to be sure my shoes are tied. i hope to spend some time in the next couple of weeks really working on a basic design and text to begin. i work well with deadlines and hope that in a month or so i can finally write to you once again, only this time wearing the "blogger" label. 

9-27-12

to the blogger who was kind enough to remember my birthday,

I'm going on my eighth day of being 27. and before the first of those days neared, i read an article in the new york times. what i remember most from the paragraphs of words, was sehnsucht, which translates as "addictive yearning." i read further, and almost like wiping a window covered in steam from the kitchen, something became clear to me.

my unacknowledged desire to want. and my constant reach for something i couldn't find. 

maybe this unacknowledged desire was my longing for tangible aesthetics (clothes, the cross-shoulder leather bag, a patterned rug that was born to live in my short north living room), but perhaps it was a strong desire of a lifestyle that i lacked. the blogs i read (present company's excluded), have stayed alive by breathing photos of beautiful girls in alleyways; of quiet mornings in a parisian coffee shop with the token cappuccino; of friends drinking wine and beer on a brooklyn rooftop that's beautifully urban. all of these images had one thing in common - none of them were my reality. 

i would often begin my mornings with coffee and blogs. by lunch i would think my life was only a shadow of something i truly wanted. was it a bigger city that i longed for? maybe it was simply a candid photo taken of me and sean laughing on a night i wore my signature red lipstick. in any case, i became obsessed with clicking through the most beautiful people on the internet trying to find what i believed would make me feel complete and brave. pretty and purposeful. 

i wasn't happy. i felt lost and unsure. and then, there it was. sehnsucht. 

i would like a place to store my creativity; my words; those photos i flag as inspiration to cook, dress, decorate. although leafing through my google reader is still seemingly routine, i spend little time wanting what someone else has, and enjoying what i already do. for me, it's been a step back from my own crippling thoughts of what should be and welcoming what already is. because of this, i've decided against beginning my own blog. 

not all blogs fall under the sehnsuct umbrella, however. i still flag inspiring posts. without them, how would i know to hang a set of antlers on my wall next to a $3 mirror from a local flea market? how could i have possibly known that neon tennis shoes and the perfect bag was what i craved for weekend strolls (a nod to your most recent post)?

your encouragement has been nothing short of necessary. perhaps you were the nudge i needed to reintroduce myself to writing. over beers and hummus i met someone in columbus ohio who inspires me through her postings and makes me feel like knowing your personal style is not a task, but enjoyment. that living in ol' columbus town is not small, but a welcomed challenged to create your own urban lifestyle.

your style friend, and follower,
m

>>> <<<

Thank you for reading; and allowing me to share something someone that really made me think.  The last email struck such a cord with me.  To be honest, like m, I constantly struggle with comparing myself to others.  I recently had a good friend say something to me about my lack of confidence lately... and when I thought about it, sadly, I think it has a lot to do with reading blogs.  Isn't that horrible?  I think sometimes it's hard to read blogs written by beautiful women, who have beautiful families, who are given clothes and things by sponsors, and who appear to have perfect lives...  and to remember that their lives are not perfect.  And it's hard to not compare yourself or your life to theirs.  Or at least it's hard for me... but I'm trying to stop.  

I named my blog Lovely + Rust for many reasons.  The name represents my love for lovely things... beautiful things, as well as my love for vintage and history.  And the name of my future vintage shop (which is now a reality; although, I'm having a hard time finding time for it).  But, the name was also supposed to represent appreciating the good and the bad in life.  You stumble across that piece at a flea market that is lovely and rusty all at once... and it's perfect because it's imperfect, and it has so much history.  And I think life is a lot like that.  There is beauty in imperfection, and no one has a perfect life.  Sometimes I think we all forget that.  

Thank you, m, for writing such beautiful emails and being so honest.  In asking for my help, you inspired me in turn.  Especially now, when I'm struggling with finding time to blog, it's so nice to know there are people reading and silently pushing me along.

Have a wonderful weekend, friends!  

HAPPINESS IS...

Hey there!  So sorry it's been so quiet at L+R.  You can hear the birds chirping over here!  Last week I spent three days in Pittsburgh for work, and I just want to soak up as much time as possible with my hubby before I go back Monday for five days.  I know I haven't talked about work a lot on here; sometimes it feels a bit too personal.  Plus, since I left my job {managing a designer clothing boutique} of five and a half years at the start of June, I've just been trying to get things figured out.  

So... I'm freelancing as a wardrobe/fashion stylist.  It was a scary decision for us, but one we hope works out, as I am loving it.  I've talked about doing this for a long time - something on my own.  I like to think I'm somewhat of a free spirit, and not having to sit at a desk all day makes my heart happy.  Plus it would have been really hard to go back to an office-type job after not having that for six years.  Hopefully all of this will give me more time for the Etsy shop, and free time for the blog.  Hopefully the freelancing works out.  Hopefully. Hopefully. Hopefully.

I've never taken for granted that I'll find a job that makes me really happy.  I think it's a luxury to love what you do for a living.  I mean, a job is a job, right?  Of course, you don't want to be miserable, but don't you think it's rare to hear someone say they genuinely enjoy their job?  Of course, it happens.  I have close friends that really enjoy their jobs, and that makes me very happy for them {and it makes me strive for that as well}.  And don't get me wrong, there have certainly been times that I would have said I liked my job, but more recently it was the area of my life where I wasn't happy or fulfilled.

In the spring, I was flipping through channels and came across a television show I don't watch, just in time to see the main character going into this big speech about happiness to her therapist.  She was talking about how she kept waiting for everything to be calm and happy... and nothing bad to be happening in her life... and that she finally realized if she keeps waiting, she will never be happy. Basically - life is just messy and beautiful, and if you wait for it to be perfect you'll miss it. 

Since then, I've had the same conversation about "happiness" with a few different people, and it's come up in so many places... A few weeks ago I was flipping channels again, and heard a comedian make a joke about a women.  He was saying women complain to their spouses about not being happy, and what women don't understand is that happiness is not a residence, it's a vacation spot.  And it made me laugh.  And I think there is some truth to take from that.

I have a sign on my mantel that says, "Happiness is not a destination, it is a way of life"... and I am constantly trying to remind myself of that.  Things do not have to be perfect all of the time, and I might not ever be happy with every aspect of my life at the same time.  And that is ok.

Right now, this weekend, I'm enjoying being happy in my relationship with my hubby... and soaking up as much time as I can with him before I'm off again.  Have a wonderful weekend, friends.

{That's me, just having a moment with the Grand Tetons in 2010... while the Mr. took sneaky photos.  Jackson Hole is one of our happy places. What are yours?}

UNPLUGGED

Hello there, friends. Do you sometimes miss the days of no social media? Lately, I've been doing a lot of thinking about my need to just unplug. Unplug from my laptop and my phone... from facebook, pinterest, instagram, twitter, etc. Don't get me wrong - I am not putting those things down or the people that use them; that would make me a total hypocrite. I'm simply saying... for someone that gets overwhelmed easily {that would be me} sometimes keeping up with all of those outlets after a long day at work is just too much.

When the Mr. and I went to see Steve Rannazzisi at the Funny Bone last weekend, he started out by making fun of someone who was on her phone - "Put down your phone and live your life". It was funny. We all laughed, but it stuck with me because it is something I have been thinking a lot about. It's one of the reasons I stopped doing as many "lifestyle" posts; I noticed myself taking pictures of everything we did, and I don't want to view moments through my camera phone {plus the Mr. and I have just been sort of boring lately}.

There are nights {post dinner} when I sit with my laptop on my lap... writing my blog... with the Mr. beside me on his laptop or phone... and then all of the sudden it's time for bed and I feel as if we've barely talked. Do you ever feel like that? I think I need to figure out a new system for blog writing... maybe wake up earlier in the morning? Not ideal, but might be necessary with this gorgeous summer weather we are having!

Check out this site - Unplug your friends, where you can send a Mad Lib type letter to a friend. It made me laugh, and I think it is something we all need to be reminded of once in a while.

A BIT DISCOURAGED.

To be honest {and my goal is to be myself on my blog, so here goes} last night I was feeling a bit discouraged about blogging. I logged on to write a post for this morning, and planned out my posts for the week in my notebook, but then I got side-tracked reading one of my favorite blogs. Sometimes {and by sometimes I mean only once before last night} I like to read a blog from the beginning to see how it began... to see how the writer evolved and got where they are. I like to think it will impart me with wisdom on how to get there myself... how to get more readers and so on. The first time I did this {read a blog from the first post} I felt kind of encouraged; this particular blogger had not always been so darn good,  or had so many readers, and it made her seem more real and imperfect... and this whole blogging thing slightly more attainable for me; however, last night's journey from the start had just the opposite effect. The blogger from last night was one of those quick successes; those girls you want to hate, but actually really like. She had only written about 15 - 20 posts and had readers commenting... You know those bloggers to whom it just seems to come so easy, and they are just so good? This was that blog and that girl. Yes, last night I was feeling somewhat discouraged.

When I started this blog I wanted it to be a style blog. Not a fashion blog, but a personal style blog. I see personal style as something different than fashion. I don't claim to be the man repeller or the Glamoroui {nope, not at all}. I learned this year that I don't care as much about designer level fashion {which was a shock to me}... I don't watch the runway shows or care if something has a name attached to it. That's not to say I wouldn't die for a closet of Isabel Marant, but just that I personally enjoy reading blogs where I might actually be able to afford the clothes... like the blog - Kendi Everyday. I wanted my blog to be about an average girl {me} and attainable style; however, I realized early on that I don't enjoy daily outfit pictures of moi, because I am too critical of myself.

So... last night I was feeling discouraged. But this morning I woke up in a really good mood... with my husband beside me and my adorable cat {who thinks he is a dog} tripping me as he walked around my legs, crying for his breakfast. As my Mr. reminded me last night, if I'm not one of those bloggers who has instant readers {besides my lovely family + friends} it's ok. *I need to write my own blog and not compare it to others. I did not start this for other people, I did it for myself. I began this blog because I needed something... I needed a creative outlet and something to focus on besides work {and my tv. I watch too much}. People reading it is just a giant bonus.

If you are still reading this novel, thank you. And thank you for following my little blog as I figure out what I want it to be about, really. Make a comment sometime in the future and let me know you are out there {so far my only comments are from my Mom... Thanks, Mom!}.

 {*good advice from my Mr. /  Image via pinterest}